You Called It!

The results are in. A winner has been chosen and my next novel, until submission at least, has a title.

Thank you! I never envisaged I’d receive so many entries to my What Would You Call It? competition, nor that it would be so illuminating. Those little asides you sent explaining why you chose one title and not another? They were gold dust.

One title won by a fair few votes, one was 'Marmite', my original working title was more popular than I’d have thought it might be and none of the titles heralded no votes at all.

I suspect that, Her Place, which gained the fewest votes, was a little too vague, even obscure. Note to self: intriguing, perhaps; nebulous, no. I had a titter about my wild card: Meatballs. You certainly felt strongly for, or against, that one. I agree that it could be misleading, dangerously so, because no, this story isn’t a farce and I wouldn't want people thinking it was. Whilst there may be some farcical elements, laugh a minute it isn’t - I’m not that clever.

So, who won?

All the votes for the most popular title were put into a hat. Actually, strictly speaking, it isn’t a hat, it’s a laundry basket. It’s one of my household’s not infrequent, ‘internet fails’. We have a fair few of these. Next time I’ll post a pic of the ‘minute yellow trug’ and there’s also the doll’s house sized – it seemed such a bargain – bottle of Shiraz.  

So, the winner! My hubbie, to ensure absolute transparency, pulled out one name from the hat/laundry basket, and that name was: Liz Carr. Congratulations, Liz! If you could email me your contact details and choice of either Glass Houses or Tea and Chemo, I’ll get a signed copy to you forthwith. And please don’t forget to let me know to whom I should sign the book.

The winning title? This Remarkable of Days and I am absolutely thrilled with it. 

Although, as with many titles in my experience, it does have a question mark hanging over it: it’s knowingly grammatically incorrect. I would hope that people would assume this was deliberate (surely a mistake wouldn’t get all the way through to the title of a novel? But then, stranger things have happened...) and there is certainly a strong reason for this wording. However, some potential readers might be put off right there and then by the suspect grammar. Can I risk this? If not, I’d have to consider changing it to: This Most Remarkable of Days and whilst I’ve been spinning this around in my head, the more I think about it, the more I like the quirkiness of the winning title of this competition. For now, it stays and I’ll keep you posted on that. By the way, if you have a view on this dilemma, please do share!

Meanwhile, here’s to a version of This Remarkable of Days making it to a book shop near you some time before too very long and that, aided by a stellar cover, not only will you feel compelled to read the blurb and later the book, you’ll stick with it (almost) to the end, when you’ll see where I was coming from when I slipped Meatballs into the list 😊

What Would You Call It?

This happened today. Two days ahead of schedule (oh yes) I scribbled the last note on the last page of the hard copy print out of the first draft of ‘In The Taxi’. This is the working title of my second novel but more on that in a moment. The fact that the pile of 260+ pages of typed copy has doubled in size under the weight of all those scribbled notes and tea cup stains, is an indication of how much work there still is to do – not least copying up this little lot. But that’s ok, because I can’t wait. I love every minute I get to spend on my own writing and I’m all-consumed with it at the moment. Ahem. Hence the reason I’ve been a little quiet of late...

But there’s a problem. My novel has a story now, but it doesn’t have a title.

I read of other writers’ euphoria at finding their title, and know of some who can’t write a word of the novel until they know what it will be called. And I understand that, because I can’t get going until I have an idea of my beginning and end. A title for some, the beginning and end for me, helps to guide the story in the right direction, to give it a focus, a string, to join up the words as they tumble from mind to paper. But the title is another thing altogether for me. I think I’ve got it, retitle every document, every note, every draft, with the new title amidst much excitement, announce it to the family, muse about it as I stuff washing frantically into the machine (so I can get back to writing) only to find that it doesn’t feel quite so perfect next time I switch on my pc.

So, can I tempt you *with a prize* to help me choose? I’ve listed, below, every title which has flown to mind over the past six months. They’re in alphabetical order so that I don’t subconsciously show a bias. I need you to choose a title which jumps out at you, which intrigues perhaps, and certainly would have you grabbing the book from the shelf, turning it over to read the blurb.

Because the title needs to stand on its own, I’m going to be really tight with the clues. I’ll simply say that I hope the story fits squarely in contemporary fiction with a ripple of humour and a smattering of tears. Four strangers, plus Paresh, the long-suffering driver who must be wondering if he’s ever going to see his home again, find themselves thrown together in a taxi only for the journey to take on a significance none of them ever envisaged. I’d better stop there.

A few provisos here. All the titles listed are ones I’d entertain so I will happily snap up the one the majority choose. However, I thought my original working title for Tea & Chemo of, ‘It Wasn’t All Bad’ was stellar: curiously inviting, not to mention doing exactly what it said on the tin. And oh, what a genius! I’d thought of it within five minutes of deciding I was going to try to write this book. Then my publisher saw it. And he laughed, very politely, and in a hugely empathetic fashion, but nonetheless telling me point blank that my book was not going to be called, ‘It Wasn’t All Bad’. Imagine googling it, he said. Ahhh. And I used to work in PR. Shame on Me! So, I’m afraid I can’t guarantee this will be the final title and, alas, I can’t even guarantee it will be accepted for publication, but here’s hoping. What I can promise is that I will log the most popular title, pick a name out of the hat from those people who chose it and one of them will get their choice of a signed copy of Glass Houses or Tea & Chemo for themselves or as a gift. To ensure no conferring, no cheating or influencing, and also because I know people have trouble commenting on here, I’m going to ask you to email me your choice via this link. The deadline is midnight on Bank Holiday Monday, 7^th May.

Good luck! And thank you 😊

• Her Place
• In The Taxi
• Marriage of Inconvenience
• Meatballs
• No Such Lonely Place
• This Remarkable of Days

The Winning Entry

Phew! London buses - radio silence and then three posts all at once. It's because there's a lot going on in the land of Glass Houses and, I'm delighted to say, none so exciting as my competition to win five Urbane Publications books of your choice. A very fine prize indeed. And some - all - very fine entries.

As some of you will know, there was a little bit of work to do to validate your entry into the draw and  you were asked to respond to one of the following questions either via this blog, Facebook or email. 

either (1) a question about Glass Houses you feel would spark discussion in a book group 

Or (2) a question you'd put to a specific Glass Houses character if they were sitting in front of you 

Or (3) the name of at least one of the Urbane titles you'd like to win and a sentence explaining why. 

I've collected up all the answers and tittered and gosh'ed and nodded (at the brilliance) my way through them and thanked my lucky stars I wasn't required to choose a 'winning' question. Instead, all the entries were put into a hat and stashed in the corner of the room until head adjudicator, the husband, came home to pick out the winner. 

Oh, you don't think I'm going to tell you yet?

Thank you to those who worried their answers might be 'spoilers' and emailed them to me. I appreciate the sensitivity and for the same reason, I'm not going to print the whole list of questions here. However, the entries were SO good - seriously, there wasn't a duff questions amongst them - that I have compiled a list of all questions entered. I will squeeze as many of them as possible into the book group flier which was at the heart of this competition. If you would like to see the list in all its glory, and/or think it might be useful for your book group, please send me your email address by private message and I'll send you the list by return. 

Meanwhile, a taster. 

The one which made me laugh the most:
Oi, you, Tori's step-dad, what made you such an arse...?

The one where I'd be particularly keen to hear the responses: Has the novel chaged your perception of the way we, as a society, view and deal with those of us who make split-second decisions with potentially devastating consequences? 

The one where I thought, Yep, fair play, I wouldn't have thought to ask that: Oh! Actually, spoiler alert, but well done, Julia!

And the one which really made me think: What are Gerald's positive traits and can he change after what happens at the end of the book?

Other questions were just as fabtastic, but because I hate, with a passion, when I find out too much about a story before I read it, I am being particuarly cautious.

Oh, you want to know the winner?

One more thing. Because book groups are a writer's friend, buying lots of books and meeting to drink wine/coffee/eat cake discuss them exhuberantly, and because the cost of the wine/coffee/cake books can mount up, Urbane Publications have a very, very generous deal for book groups: 

Order five or more copies of the same book for delivery to a single address and receive a 50% discount on the order AND free p&p. I think that is pretty generous. Contact Urbane Publications if your book group would be interested. 

Where were we? OK, thanks to everyone who entered the competition, the winning entry out of the hat belongs to...
...
...Tamsin Sargeant. Well done Tamsin, I'll be sending you a DM about how to claim your prize.

Next date for your diary: Saturday 17th September between 2 and 5.30pm, Blackwell's Book Shop, Leeds. Book signing, Q&A, chat, cake...would love to see you there!

Ahem! Your deadline approaches...

Monday 5th September is shaping up to be an exciting day, not to mention a very pleasant slide back into 'proper' work after the summer holidays. 

It's the deadline (9am, just in case inspiration strikes in the wee hours) for my competition to win five books of your choice from my wonderfully generous publisher at Urbane Publications. And once I've sifted through the entries to steal choose the questions for the fliers to accompany copies of Glass Houses for use in book groups, and the husband (to ensure no jiggery-pokery) has chosen an entry from the hat to be our prize winner, then it's off to Bakewell in Derbyshire for a bit of a chat, a coffee and some cake. 

As there's still time to enter the competition and because you're all exceedingly welcome to join us tomorrow night in Bakewell, I thought I'd paste the salient information below. 

By the way, you don't have to have read Glass Houses to enter the competition, nor to come along tomorrow night. 

So, to win your choice of five books from the Urbane Publications catalogue, please enter:

either (1) a question about Glass Houses you feel would spark discussion in a book group 

Or (2) a question you'd put to a specific Glass Houses character if they were sitting in front of you 

Or (3) the name of at least one of the Urbane titles you'd like to win and a sentence explaining why.  

*Competition closes:
9 am Monday 5 September*

• You can insert your question in a comment below, email it to me here or post it on Facebook or Twitter (@jaxbees).
• You can enter as many questions as you like - each question = one entry.
• If you feel your question may include 'spoilers' (ie you'll give some of the plot away) please choose the email option. 
• The winner of their choice of books will be chosen at random and the best question – or questions - will be included on the flier.   
• Glass Houses is available direct from Urbane Publications and Amazon and to buy or order from book shops.
• For more about Urbane Publications and its titles, click here.

Good luck!

If you're free to join us tomorrow night:

Where: at The Bakewell Book & Gift Shop, Matlock Street, Bakewell, Derbyshire DE45 1EE. View their website here
When: 8pm Monday 5th September

What: a brief talk about me and Glass Houses followed by a reading and Q&A. More than happy to sign books if that's of interest.

Anything else? Coffee, cake and a 10% discount on Glass Houses and Tea and Chemo.   

RSVP not strictly necessary but I'd love to know if you're able to make it :)

Hope to see you in either the competition, the book shop, or both. 

Happy September every one!

Five Free Books and a Question

Sometimes I look at myself as I race through the to-do list to free up an imaginary spare hour in which I may, perhaps, be able to read, and think that it's a funny pastime: here I go, lamenting that there aren't enough hours in the day and yet I willingly use precious lots of them to propel myself into another reality. 

Some recent gems

And then I start reading books like these, some of my favourites of this year, and the world sort of melts around me as I read the first page and slide into a brilliantly told story. When I know this read is going to be breath-taking, stirring, preferably amusing, generally thoughtful and, of course, I'm falling in love with the characters, that's when I know why I spend more time (and money) on books than I'd care to admit.

If, like me, resistance to the potential for a life-affirming read is futile, you might be interested to know that I have a competition running in this blogpost and the prize is not one, but *five* books of your choice from the entire list of fiction and non-fiction titles in the wonderful Urbane Publications', collection. That's a choice of 78 books – and counting.

But we're not going to make it that easy for you.

Hearing that people have enjoyed Glass Houses warms my heart and the line which often tickles me, is the one about it being a great book group read. Oh, how I'd like to be a fly on the wall for that one! In light of this, we are going to be providing fliers to book groups with a list of questions about Glass Houses to get them started.

Just a few of my Urbane Titles.
More on my iPad's TBR...

And who would be the best people to come up with a list of questions about the book? My loyal readers!

So, to enter the draw for your pick of five books, please provide: 

Either (1) a question about Glass Houses you feel would spark discussion in a book group
Or (2) a question you'd put to a specific Glass Houses character if they were sitting in front of you
Or (3 - if the above seems a little too like a piece of GCSE English homework) the name of at least one of the Urbane titles you'd like to win and a sentence explaining why.  

*Competition closes: Monday 5 September*

• You can insert your question in a comment below, email it to me here or post it on Facebook or Twitter (including @jaxbees).
• You can enter as many questions as you like - each question = one entry.
• If you feel your question may include 'spoilers' (ie you'll give some of the plot away) please choose the email option. 
• The winner of their choice of books will be chosen at random and the best question – or questions - will be included on the flier.   
• If you haven't read Glass Houses, you still have time! The closing date is 9am on Monday 5^th September. 
• Glass Houses is available direct from Urbane Publications and Amazon and to buy or order from book shops.
• For more about Urbane Publications and its titles, click here.

Good luck!

If you would like to ask a question in person, I'd love to answer it for you. I will be signing books and hosting a Q and A session at Blackwell's in Leeds on Saturday 17^th September from 2pm.

And I'll be doing similar in Bakewell Bookshop in Derbyshire on Monday 5^th September (evening). More details to follow, including news of events in Cardiff (15th October), Ripon and Harrogate.

* In the event of the winning entry coming from outside the UK, the prize must be taken as eBooks.

Psst! Young writers!

I've been lucky enough to judge a batch of stories in the 500 Words children's short story writing competition hosted by Chris Evans and Radio Two over the past two years. It's been an honour to be involved and the ability of our nation's young people to write a readable story within the confines of 500 words always impresses me. If you entered, I send you massive congratulations. Writing a story is an achievement itself, let alone editing and polishing it until it's fit to enter a national competition. The very best of luck to those of you who entered and I send you all great wafts of fairy dust as we count down the weeks until the winners are declared at the Hay Festival at the end of May. 

Although I am sworn to secrecy on the content of the stories I read, I can tell you that elements of every single story were entertaining and yet, of course, some of the entries had that little something extra which convinced me to give them the top marks.

And thus the reason for this blog. Both years I noticed that the stories which scored the best marks had something in common with each other. Let me explain.

The competition is divided into two age groups: nine and under and ten to 13 year olds. Each of the thousands of judges at this first stage is sent a selection of around 30 stories without knowing anything about the author, not even their gender or exact age. Judges are then required to mark each story on-line and award it a score out of ten in each of five categories:

* Originality

* Plot

* Characterisation

* Language

* Enjoyment

Once marked, each story is listed on the judge's page in order of score. The ranking of the titles constantly updates itself as more stories are marked. At first I was sceptical. How could I judge the 'feel' of the story and the impact on the reader simply by giving aspects of it a clinical mark out of ten? Surely a scoring system couldn't adequately reflect my gut reaction?

In reality, both years I've been flabbergasted by the accuracy of marking the stories in this way. And both years, I've seen it in black and white: a common factor linking the top three stories.

So, here it is. I noticed that the stories which came out top consistently scored highly in 'originality'. It wasn't that this was a superior category of the five used for judging, after all, a maximum of ten points was available in each of the five categories, but where a story felt original, it was much more likely to also score highly in 'enjoyment'.

This is logical and something we writers young and old should remember. It doesn't matter how well a story is written, the quality of the language used or the writer's command of grammar, if it's a story with nothing new for the reader, it's unlikely to keep their interest. Who wants to read a story where they know what is going to happen? Who will bother to spend the time reading something which asks no questions, where we don't have to think? There's Candy Crush for that.

But, I hear you cry, people tell us there are only seven types of story and everything ever written is based on one or more of those. How can we possibly be original living in the 21^st century? This is true to some extent. There are certain themes, such as overcoming adversity: Harry Potter, or the great adventure: Robinson Crusoe, which are the backbone of all story writing. But this is all they are; a tool, a start point or a model. They are the base for a plot on which we add our own characters and situations; a base to add our writer's touch. 

We can take a familiar story and add different people, change the time frame, the country and the events themselves. Take Harry Potter, for example. How would he fare in the year 2114? How would his magic be received then? Would technology be better able or less able to cope with his tricks? How about the other characters? Let's change them a little. What if Voldemort really wanted to be nice? Or should we change our hero? Does he even need to be male? What if 'she' was a different kind of character at school? What if she wasn't very successful? What if she was a clumsy oaf whose only chance to escape ridicule – and death – was her magic but she kept making mistakes? All of a sudden you have more of a comedy but still with its element of adventure.

There are too many possibilities to count and this is true of all story telling. My advice is to start out with an idea and think how you can make it different. How can you make it special and individual? How can you make it your story? Tell yourself that you're not going to write Harry Potter again. After all, JK Rowling had seven novels to tell her story, you have only 500 words.

If, when you write, you can really believe that your reader would sit in a chair, on the bus or in bed bothering to take the time to read your 500 words over any other story they could pick from their book shelves or reader, then you are a long way to writing a story they will want to read rather than a story they've read before.

Write for your reader. Be original. And check your work – spelling and grammar mistakes distract us from the actual story. And by the way, having an adult check your work is not cheating - all professional writers have editors :)

This year's 500 words competition is now closed but there are lots of other competitions open to young people. Click here for a great list of local and national competitions in 2014. You can also find lots of competitions at Firstwriter.com.  

Have fun! And let me know how you get on!

A Robbery, a Bus and a Bird

So, ahem, not known (as you are about to witness) for my great skill as a poet, I nonetheless had the urge to do something with the brilliant entries into my blog competition to win a signed copy of the wonderful Rook, by Jane Rusbridge.

If the below makes no sense at all (and why ever not?), the entries, listed as comments in my previous post, A Pet Rook and a Competition, might shed a little light.

And they're well worth a read.

Thanks so much for all your intriguing and imaginative entries and well done to June Seghni, our winner as chosen by my esteemed judges - creative writing class students. June, please could you email me your address so that I can get your prize to you.

 

There once was a pupil called Teresa
Who travelled on the same bus as Jane
The two never did meet
Though they lived on the same street (practically)
Because Teresa was too busy getting the cane.

 

Phil’s Dad was a waiter in Brighton
Antonia’s sister was a student there too
Jacqueline’s grandparents lived in Lancing
With her best friend she’s no longer dancing
But the beach she still likes to do (as long as she doesn’t get a parking ticket).

 

Amanda met Jane on Twitter
And then met her again in real life
She has two of Jane’s books
Is excluded from the competition about Rook
But has decided not to put up a fight.

 

Jennie has no connection with Brighton beach
But has a Granny from Sussex called Meg
She blackmailed the local birds
To visit her in hoards
Though the neighbours to stop, they did beg (ouch!).

 

Kate has a pet rook called Bunting
She found her at the end of her tether
She survived the fall
Broken legs mean she’s not tall
But she’ll always be fun and clever.

 

Skyblue is surrounded by rooks and crows
And has a cousin by the name of Jane
She says the sea stopping of King Cnut
Criticised - and unfairly to boot
Should be tried by complainants if they deign.

 

Alison has a son with a penchant for hamsters
Who imagines them rather as fighters
She loves to visit West Pier
To her and Jane held dear
And they’re also well connected as writers.

 

June knows about the Goldstone Robbery
When Edward Howell stole mail from the train
All at Goldstone Bottom
Knew that James Rook was also rotten
But June gets first place for his pain. Yay!

Lucky Seven

Jane Rusbridge, author of the beautifully crafted, The Devil’s Music, who’s looking forward to the publication of her second novel, Rook, this August, (pre-ordered, of course) has kindly included me in her Lucky Seven list. You can find Jane on Twitter @JaneRusbridge and see her over at her gorgeous website http://www.janerusbridge.co.uk.


Lucky Seven is a bit of blogging fun where we extract seven lines from page seven or 77 of our Work In Progress and pray that at least one section will standalone as a piece of text. Then we challenge seven other writers to do the same.


The instructions for Lucky 7 are:

• Go to page 7 or 77 in your current manuscript
• Go to line 7
• Post on your blog the next 7 lines, or sentences, as they are – no cheating!
• Tag 7 other authors to do the same

My extract is taken from Glass Houses, my first completed manuscript which, after too many re-writes to count, is now in Submissionville again. Sprinkles of fairy dust are always much appreciated.

Line 7, page 77 of Glass Houses

Glass Houses is a novel about unlikely heroine, Tori Williams, whose life implodes after sending a text from the M62 motorway. Emerging a notorious public figure, Tori fights her way to a bold and improved existence. It’s just a shame her devoted husband isn’t on board... 

After weeks spent recovering from the injuries sustained in the crash, there are rumours that Tori is soon to leave hospital and interest in her has piqued again. The press attention is frenzied and security has been stepped up. Carly is Tori’s loyal daughter and she’s upset by what she’s just overheard staff on the ward saying about her mother’s plight; even they think she should be wheeled straight out of hospital and into the arms of the prison service.

The third security guard, tub-shaped and with the faintest whiff of blonde hair on his head, the remainder on his chin, stood pressed against the closed door to Tori’s room.

He smiled. “Hello you!” Carly felt his eyes settle on her sunken shoulders and her tatty bag which trailed on the floor, hanging on the tips of her fingers by the long strap. “Hot topic,” he said, inclining his ear towards the rest of the ward. “It’ll pass, always does.”

 Carly knew what people were saying, of course she did. She read the papers like everybody else. She leapfrogged photographers in her parents’ garden and turned on the radio to find phone-in debates handing out prison sentences like interest-free credit cards.

I was delighted to be given a second Lucky Seven tag by the talented Jan Marshall who I met on Twitter @Jan_Marshall and not only writes but produces cover art for fellow writers. You can learn more about her writing and see some of her designs here: www.designrelated.com.  

This time I looked at my second Work In Progress, Misguidance. I will hold my hands up here and admit that I had to cheat as the sections on both page seven and seventy-seven were nothing more than a bunch of notes. The exercise was a reminder that Misguidance is very much a first draft and when I say I’m three-quarters of the way through my second manuscript, I am mindful that ‘manuscript’ is somewhat over-stating it and that ‘scribbles’ might be more accurate.

Still, I’m having great fun. I love this stage where the story is falling on to the page as fast as I can type and rather than break the flow, I quickly write a note to myself that should be ignored at peril – Check! What IS that word? Duplication! Plot hole! I think I must be tired! – and so the list goes on.  

So, I hope you’ll forgive the slight deviation from the rules to allow me to jump to line seventeen as the first significant place (with seven in the title, of course) from page seventy-seven of Misguidance where I could find seven concurrent sentences.

Line 17, page 77 of Misguidance

Misguidance is about Evelyn Leonard and her disastrous life. Evelyn has made some big mistakes but was dealt a bad hand and when stranger, Sarah Bentley puts together the full picture, she is able to sympathise. Eventually Sarah creates the perfect opportunity for Evelyn to start to put the record straight. 

Sarah and Cari, friend-cum-fellow-amateur-sleuth, are engaged in an awkward conversation with Bill, who has been working at Evelyn’s house following her largely unnoticed death, and who is extremely perturbed to have spotted Sarah ‘trespassing’ in the late Evelyn Leonard’s house.

 “I mean it you know,” Sarah said pushing the biscuit tin under Bill’s nose and giving it a shake, “a building career. My parents would have a fit but I’d love a physical job; whistling at men as they walked by, an all year tan...”

“…muscle-bound, perfectly toned body,” Cari interjected, casting her eyes over Bill’s beer induced paunch. She dunked her biscuit into her tea, retrieved it moments before it dissolved.

Bill took another chocolate chip cookie, smiled in place of a thank you and explained that Cari might get a tan building villas in Spain but in this country, was more likely to get piss-wet-through. “Anyway,” he said, leaning back on his chair, hands clasped behind his head and giving his intertwined knuckles a good crack, “I’m not a builder, I’m a joiner and you girls can prattle on all you like about my line of work but I won’t leave this house until I know what you took from Mrs Leonard’s place.”

He leaned back across the table, planted his elbows firmly on top, slurped his tea.

Thanks again to Jane and Jan for thinking of me.

The Next Seven:
The seven writers I have chosen are:

• Gillian Smellie @GillianSmellie http://skybluepinkish.wordpress.com
• Gerry McCullough @Gerry1098 http://www.gerrymccullough.com
• Kelly Byrne @KL_Byrne http://kellybyrne.wordpress.com
• Catherine MacLeod (AKA Diana!) @silentnovelist http@//daisychainsofsilence.wordpress.com
• Kay B @1_Lovelife http://Ilovelife.blogspot.com
• Jane Alexander @exmoorjane http://exmoor.blogspot.com
• Martha Williams @Martha_Williams http://marthawilliams.org

Can’t wait to read your extracts ...

Absent

I’m sorry, I’ve been a little absent of late.  I’ve been busy talking to myself.

I haven’t read out loud so much since Magdalene Lower Secondary School when I went kicking and screaming to my role as Lady Rowena in the play which for the life of me I cannot remember the title. I do remember my long, blue cotton dress, however, with its flouncy Edwardian sleeves and a crocheted head band calming my frizzy tresses. And I also recall talking a lot of rhubarb in hushed whispers as my fellow ‘ladies’ and I held court at the edge of the stage.

Destined for stardom I was not.

Yet there is something quite invigorating about speaking out loud.  My characters have taken on a new life again. I haven’t read my whole book in great chunks like this for months, so obsessed have I been with le mot juste, eradicating my abundance of semi-colons (where, pray, did they come from?), checking my indents and crucially extending the white space from two lines to three. 

But these past few weeks I’ve been re-acquainted with my old friends who make up the small society of Glass Houses.  I’ve been worrying about Main Character, Tori, again, crying for her predicament (yes, real tears) and have been reminded that if I wasn’t married to my wonderful man (who lets me write while he does proper work, you’ve got to love him, haven’t you?), Doug would be the one for me.

Submitting is a lonely business, tiresome, I find - all that waiting to hear something, anything.  I swear I’ve developed a nervous twitch in my forefinger, clicking on the mouse every two minutes to speed up Send/Receive in the hope that this time my in-box will display the wonderful words, ‘Yes!  Send the rest of your story now, goddamnit!’

But reading Glass Houses has been great therapy.  It’s reminded me that these characters have a story to tell and that they’d really like somebody to listen.  For their benefit, because I love them all, their foibles notwithstanding, I will keep plugging away.

Happy reading (out loud) everyone!

Dragon’s Den for Wannabe Authors

Last week I practically read my whole book out loud. Yep, (almost) all of the 95,000 words. It was illuminating. People always say you should read your work out loud and boy, does it show up those howlers. It felt a bit weird at first, sitting in my little study, in the empty house, feigning a cockney accent and moving quickly back to one from Northumberland. But after a while I was gesticulating with the best of them, get me a stage and I’d have cheerfully paced every inch of it, throwing my hands into the air in an alternating show of dismay and elation.

My reason for this? I needed to find the best 300-500 words to read out at the York Writers’ Festival during the weekend of 9 April. It took me to chapter twenty one to find a section which I felt had all the requirements: energy, dialogue and a hook to pull the audience into wanting more. A few more runs through on my stage and I was happy. I cut and pasted the extract, reworked my single paragraph synopsis, composed my two sentences to set the scene and emailed them all post-haste to the festival organisers.

Nervous? Terrified! If I get chosen to participate I will be given one of about fifteen, five minute slots on the first evening of the festival, to pitch my book to an audience of a few hundred fellow wannabe authors (happily drinking) interspersed with those magical beings: agents. They say it’s just a bit of fun. But who doesn’t harbour the smatterings of a dream that an agent pricks up his/ her ears and secretly scribbles down the name, away from other eyes because they don’t want you, this sure thing, to be stolen from them?

But human beings are funny creatures. I had mixed feelings about entering. I batted around the question for a few days. After all, this has the potential to give my book that bump up the ladder of writing that it sorely needs. Read badly, choose badly, and I could do myself more harm than good.

But as soon as I found out that I might not be chosen to read, I wanted to be on that stage more than anything. Isn’t the best way to find out whether you really want something, to take it away? It is in my case, if I don’t get chosen, I’ll always wonder. If I do get chosen and make an idiot of myself on stage, I’ll simply have to use a pseudonym, have a face transplant and emigrate to America.