Monday 17 September 2012

What Would You Like?

It was my birthday last week. Regular readers will know that I have an acute case of ‘Hackaphobia’ which prevents me from stating the exact date but I can say that I love birthdays and those that fall in September are every bit as enjoyable as in any other month. I enjoy the fuss and the cake and feel the only place for being depressed about getting older is from the fluffy clouds above (God willing) even if the time spent in front of the mirror plucking out grey hairs is so significant these days, I’m going to have to promote it to the To-Do list.

If I’m asked what I would like for my birthday I tend to answer, ‘a publishing deal, please’ but whilst I am thoroughly spoilt by my wonderful friends and family, I’m afraid this particular item has eluded me thus far.

However, this had me thinking of other more abstract ideas for presents I’d be happy to accept and I came up with the following list. If you would be so kind, I’d like:

… the tidying fairies to sort out my study while I sleep. First of all, I need extra storage space, about twice the amount which would fit in the room should suffice. As a priority, I could do with extra shelving for my ToBeReads as hubbie is soon to notice that the book purchasing has exceeded the read of speeding over the past few months. My lapsed one book in, one out rule of foisting much loved missives on un-suspecting fellow readers, needs to be revisited.

Next, I’d like the four black bags of old clothes to be disseminated amongst parents of younger children. The fitness ball and hoola hoop should disappear from view, only to miraculously reappear should I ever decide to use them again. Could the old computer have its own desk please? It has to stay, it has three billion six hundred thousand photos stored on it but viewing is currently restricted as the path to it is strewn with un-hung pictures and large, children-generated (very good, actually, but we’re running out of wall space) pieces of artwork. That would be a good start.

… the government NOT to allow the selling off of school playing fields. Hello! Olympic legacy?

… a self-cleaning bathroom. Nay, a self-cleaning house. And car. And cases which unpack themselves. I’ll stop there.

… my children to be totally unmoved by all negative peer pressure. (Ok, I didn’t say my requests had to be feasible, nor, in the long term perhaps, desirable but for now, in my dreams, it would make parenting so much easier.)

... my children to eschew all trashy tv and replace it with literature. See also the addendum to the above.

… winter to be resplendent in crisp, white snow which has not a jot of impact on traffic or journey time and bi-passes the slushy stage before giving way to a snow-drop be-speckled, blue-skied  spring.

… the time difference to be banned so that I could ring my sister in America at 8am our time and she be happy to hear me.

Oh, and did I mention the publishing deal? Although, ever the optimist, I can say that I am a whole heap closer to getting one than I was this time last year so I shall accept that as an extremely acceptable birthday present, thank you.

So, now it’s your turn. You’re not allowed to ask for World Peace because that’s a given. But other than that, sock it to me, what would be your perfect birthday ‘present’ this year?


  1. Belated birthday greetings, Jax! Hope you had a splendid day.

    It's my birthday this weekend so maybe if I get them in quick some of them might materialise! OK, here we go:

    1. I'd like a publishing deal too please
    2. More time to write for me instead of customers
    3. Any kind of invention that keeps me fit and healthy without the exercise bit
    4. A 2 week holiday - I can't remember the last time I had one
    5. A camper van to go on that holiday in

    If anyone wants my address to courier anything to arrive in time for the impending 40th - do let me know! :)

    1. He he! Your list made me smile :) Who knows, maybe it will all arrive in the camper van. Enjoy it anyway, you young pup!

  2. I think my must have is a better job. I'm tired of working a crappy job and needing more income. I'd also like more time to write. Is that too much to ask for?

  3. Oh dear, Emma, it's horrible not having a job you like. I wish you all the best with that one and also in finding more time to write. Thanks for reading.

  4. Have tried to think of some really witty wishes and sadly failed, sorry! I would however like you and all your aspiring writer fellow sufferers to get publishing contracts of course. In addition a bit more common sense about the place might be nice, for instance in "elf and safety" and maybe political correctness, both of which seem to be used as excuses at times for the silliest of things. Whilst I am on a roll about silly things what about wishing for an acceptance that sometimes accidents happen and it isn't anyone's fault. Better stop now getting to really sound like an old fogey!

  5. Hoorah for the old fogeys is all I can say as I agree with all of that :) There's a fair bit about blame culture in Glass Houses, actually... I like the bit about our publication dreams too, wouldn't that be nice?! Thanks for reading and commenting, Lyn.

  6. Whenever I'm asked, I just shrug my shoulders and mumble 'Nothing'. But I love your getting the kids off trashy TV idea, so I'll nab that one :-)

  7. Personally, I blame SkyPlus and the Humax box. At least we had to schedule our whole day around watching rubbish and then fight off the rest of the family when they wanted to watch the 'other side'. Mind you, my sisters did subject me to watching Blake's Seven on a Monday night so it wasn't all good in the test card days.
    Thanks for stopping by, Annalisa.


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