It was my birthday last week. Regular readers will know that
I have an acute case of ‘Hackaphobia’ which prevents me from stating the exact
date but I can say that I love birthdays and those that fall in September are
every bit as enjoyable as in any other month. I enjoy the fuss and the cake and
feel the only place for being depressed about getting older is from the fluffy
clouds above (God willing) even if the time spent in front of the mirror
plucking out grey hairs is so significant these days, I’m going to have to
promote it to the To-Do list.
If I’m asked what I would like for my birthday I tend to
answer, ‘a publishing deal, please’ but whilst I am thoroughly spoilt by my wonderful
friends and family, I’m afraid this particular item has eluded me thus far.
However, this had me thinking of other more abstract ideas
for presents I’d be happy to accept and I came up with the following list. If
you would be so kind, I’d like:
… the tidying fairies to sort out my study while I sleep.
First of all, I need extra storage space, about twice the amount which would
fit in the room should suffice. As a priority, I could do with extra shelving
for my ToBeReads as hubbie is soon to notice that the book purchasing has
exceeded the read of speeding over the past few months. My lapsed one book in,
one out rule of foisting much loved missives on un-suspecting fellow readers, needs
to be revisited.
Next, I’d like the four black bags of old clothes to be
disseminated amongst parents of younger children. The fitness ball and hoola
hoop should disappear from view, only to miraculously reappear should I ever
decide to use them again. Could the old computer have its own desk please? It
has to stay, it has three billion six hundred thousand photos stored on it but
viewing is currently restricted as the path to it is strewn with un-hung
pictures and large, children-generated (very good, actually, but we’re running
out of wall space) pieces of artwork. That would be a good start.
… the government NOT to allow the selling off of school
playing fields. Hello! Olympic legacy?
… a self-cleaning bathroom. Nay, a self-cleaning house. And
car. And cases which unpack themselves. I’ll stop there.
… my children to be totally unmoved by all negative peer
pressure. (Ok, I didn’t say my requests had to be feasible, nor, in the long
term perhaps, desirable but for now, in my dreams, it would make parenting so
much easier.)
... my children to eschew all trashy tv and replace it with
literature. See also the addendum to the above.
… winter to be resplendent in crisp, white snow which has
not a jot of impact on traffic or journey time and bi-passes the slushy stage
before giving way to a snow-drop be-speckled, blue-skied spring.
… the time difference to be banned so that I could ring my
sister in America at 8am our time and she be happy to hear me.
Oh, and did I mention the publishing deal? Although, ever
the optimist, I can say that I am a whole heap closer to getting one than I was
this time last year so I shall accept that as an extremely acceptable birthday
present, thank you.
So, now it’s your turn. You’re not allowed to ask for World
Peace because that’s a given. But other than that, sock it to me, what would be
your perfect birthday ‘present’ this year?
