Friday 7 September 2012

The Dark Side


Frightened of my own cyber shadow, I go to great pains not to reveal publicly when I’m away, just in case the ‘dark side’ visits my home when we’re not there. I know, I know, chance would be a fine thing that my missives had gone viral but, well, with the need to tell stories comes a slightly warped imagination and you wouldn’t believe the control room of villains I see plotting to pounce.


my new writing buddies from Swanwick
But, now I’m back so it’s safe to safe to admit that the silence is due to an inspirational week at the Swanwick Writers’ Conference where stimulus, loveliness and laughter were rife, where I wrote 10,000 words and where I found myself an agent who’d like to see the rest of Glass Houses. So yes, thank you Swanwick, it was wonderful. Click here for more information Swanwick Writers' School. This was followed by a fabulous family holiday in Croatia where we all fell in love with the country and its people. If I ever truly go missing, please look for me there first.

The great news is that none of my party broke anything other than a glass, although, in reality, it was actually three.

We’ve had some momentous holidays where we’ve become acquainted with the workings of a few European hospitals. When other people equip themselves with their foreign abode’s word for ‘thank you’, first on my list is ‘hospital’. It’s ‘bolnica’, in Croatian, if you’re wondering. There was the dislocated-elbow-screaming on the French camp site, not to mention the infamous arm smashing incident, already well-documented in this blog. But I say, if you’re going to break too many bones to count, do it on the final night of an amazing action packed two week holiday in the Swiss Alps and bag yourself the best room in the hospital at the foot of the Eiger, dosed up with morphine, contemplating the blue sky and snowy peaks through the almost picture window of your own ward.

I only remember one holiday being so bad that we almost came home early. It was 2006 and, somewhat unbelievably, a heat-wave of a summer. We’d taken ourselves off to North Wales in a borrowed six man tent, a luxurious upgrade to our usual 3-berth.

The weather broke. When I say ‘broke’, imagine trying to keep a hot air balloon anchored in a typhoon and you get an idea of how much the wind had picked up; tip a bucket of cold water over your head every time you exit the house and you are some way to understanding the inundation we were confronted with if we ever dared to leave the canvas. One by one, all the tents disappeared from the site. It was us and the caravans. At least the tents left of their own accord, I was so convinced ours would up and leave us in the night, despite guy ropes tied to the car, and I would be found next morning snoring in my sleeping bag, the rest of my possessions and family strewn across the field, that I slept in my clothes to protect my modesty. Worse! As it was my friend’s tent, I was petrified about returning empty-handed so any sleep was fitful at best. My friend laughed when I told her. ‘You’re joking,’ she said, ‘I’d have been so happy to be shot of the thing.’

That particular camping trip is probably the closest I’ve come to not enjoying a holiday. Cold feet, a punctured mattress held together with the contents of the first-aid kit, wet clothes slapping you in the face as you walk through the doorway, mud in the showers and soggy boxes of cereal aren’t top of my list of prerequisites for a great getaway. But I do have pleasant memories of being forced to do different things - such as going to the pictures three times in one week, learning card tricks from our equally marooned neighbours and eating two cream teas in one day. Suffice it to say, our youngest has lusted after camping ever since so it can’t have been that bad.

How was your summer? Dare I ask, did you stay dry?
Ps If you like watersports and fancy Croatia, I can't recommend these people highly enough (and no, I'm not on commission ;)) Raftrek Travel, Croatia

14 comments:

  1. Swanick looks great - congrats on the 10,000 words and finding an agent to read your novel. I'm dying to go to a writers conference one year.

    Croatia always looks lovely in photos.

    I have so many bad camping experiences that we always come home saying 'never again', but we always do...

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  2. Thanks Annalisa, I'll keep you posted! What is it about camping that makes us keep going back? I still enjoy it for a week but have totally gone off the idea of weekend trips because of all the preparation just to leave the house for only a day or two away and then the same in reverse when you get back. But there is something truly relaxing about a glass of wine outside the tent and sleeping with the silence of the country side all around - unless you can hear the bloke in the next tent snoring of course (or they can hear me :)
    Thanks for reading!

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  3. Nice! Keeping my fingers crossed for the agent to get back to you with good news.

    Great summer, hot, with little rain until August. We have a cottage so there's no camping, but the place is rustic, on a lake. Mind you, there is WiFi so my laptop travels with me, and I can still write.

    heh.

    eden


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    1. Thanks for the good wishes Eden. How nice would it be to report back with good news? And how nice does that cottage sound? Where is it, are you at liberty to say? Thanks for reading!

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  4. Swanwick looks like fun - maybe next year!

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    1. It was wonderful, Kate. It was really well organised with a good selection of courses and some fantastic speakers. I'm so glad I went because, apart from the great content and despite meeting some wonderful people, I still managed to scribble away to my heart's content. I hope you can make it next year, if time and finances allow, I'll definitely be back.

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  5. A fun read, Jackie. Maybe...I had more fun reading about your adventure than you had in creating it. Maybe. ;)

    Congrats on the writing, the agent and arriving to a home still there. :)

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  6. Ha ha! Thanks Paolo. My memories are of it being great - despite of itself - but I suspect I wasn't quite so enthusiastic about it back in 2006... I do know a particularly bleak moment was when the mattress sank to the ground sheet at 3am. I think we'd have packed up and left right then if we could have been bothered! Thanks for your kind words and for following the blog. Do you have a blog?

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  7. WELL DONE! I've now got the perfect excuse not to write - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you :)

    Swanick looks lovely. The booking looks complicated, do you just book for a week and then choose your courses whilst you are there?

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    1. He he! Glad to be of service :)
      One of the great things about Swanwick is that it is so flexible. A couple of weeks before you go, you'll be sent a full programme so you can start planning but yes, you actually decide what courses you want to do when you're there. I had a good idea before I went but still changed my mind on a daily basis. You can fill your days with courses and workshops or you can be really selective and spend the rest of the time writing.They had great speakers in the evenings too, and other enterainment such as Karaoke (!)and of course there's also the bar. Definitely recommended.
      Thanks for reading, Gillian.

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  8. Congrats on the request for your manuscript, fingers crossed for you :)

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    1. Thanks, Charmaine, I'm sure I'll keep you posted! Thanks for the follow, too.

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  9. Well done, on both the writing and the read from the agent.

    Our holiday, two weeks in Cornwall, was a washout. On the wettest day (which happened to also to be my birthday) we thought we'd go to Eden Project as at least it was indoors. Turned out, everyone else decided to go there that day too.

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  10. Oh dear, Charlie. The only consolation I can offer is that if you visit The Eden Project on a warm day, granted there are fewer people but it's also unbearably hot! Don't know if that helps at all?? Thanks for reading and your good wishes, I'll keep you posted.

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