Thursday 31 December 2015

Two Years Hence

It slipped itself in between Christmas Day and New Year's Eve, waved, smiled, winked and left. I gave a nod of appreciation, lifted an imaginary glass of champagne (imaginary because you know The Body That Got Cancer likes to keep a firm eye on its units and the bubbles had been flowing since Christmas Eve) and took just a moment, a quiet moment - I'm still not ready to dance on the tables - to say thank you.

With the 27th December came my second Cancerversary. I'm superstitious. I know enough to know that we can never dismiss the potential for secondaries or, indeed, that any of us can be complacent about the potential for a primary cancer to form, but I'm grateful for the relative peace and calm that my Two Year Cancerversary brings.

Last year I wrote about my first Cancerversary here. It was a cautious celebration in a sort of raw, new girl at school kind of way: knowing it should be fun but not quite ready to let down all my defences. This year I feel more settled in, comfortable, that I understand the post cancer diagnosis and treatment world into which I was plunged and most days I can cope with it quite effortlessly, thank you.

The Fear which I wrote about here, does still haunt me from time to time. I've had a few scares, just admirable vigilance on behalf of the medical profession, and although my style is to busy myself so that I have no room left to fret, the fear does nonetheless manage to settle itself in over the top of my brain sometimes and leak into my thoughts. It's not an undue pressure, nothing like the early days of The Wait and The Not Knowing, nothing like the fear of recurrence when chemo finished and for a few months after, but it's 'just there', in an annoying little tic kind of way.

So, from the position of being two years post cancer diagnosis, I would like to say to anybody who is further back on this rocky road than I am, it does get better and it gets a whole lot easier.

So much had happened since my first anniversary a year ago. Last 27th December, I hadn't even heard of the pioneering publishers, Urbane Publications, let alone submitted to them and here I am with Tea And Chemo published and Glass Houses on its way out of the door next June.

Most of my work was on hold during my year of treatments so I only really started back to teaching and editing at the beginning of 2015 and you know, I'd really missed the buzz of writers excited about their stories. My return to work this year has been a baptism of fire with the writing and promotion of Tea And Chemo to throw into the mix, plus the small matter of my final edits on Glass Houses, which we'll gloss over because I'm a little behind on those. But it's been wonderful to be back to full busy-ness again. Although sometimes I curse the stairs up to my office after dinner or at the weekend, cancer taught me, if I didn't already know, that sitting still doesn't really work for me.

This year other people I know have been diagnosed with cancer, some very young people in my online group have developed secondaries. Some have died from them. My heart breaks a little every time. Not for me, so far I continue to be one of the lucky ones, but because cancer is still such an enormous thorn in the side of human health. Great strides have been made in all areas of cancer diagnoses, cure and care but until we can take a pill to rid ourselves of cancer before it even suggests any danger, until we have 100% accurate diagnostic tests to take action before it dares to become a possibility, we must keep fundraising, caring and raising awareness.

This Cancerversary, in addition to the wonders of the medical profession that blasted the cancer cells and my family and friends who kept me sane and continue to do so, I'd also like to thank Matthew Smith, owner of Urbane Publications. Right from the start, when Tea And Chemo was a collection of blog posts and an idea, Matthew determined that Urbane Publications would also give every penny of profit to the three charities I was keen to support:The Haven in Leeds, The Sir Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre in Harrogate and the national charity, Breast Cancer Now.

If you are interested in buying a copy of Tea And Chemo, your purchase will help the three charities. If you are not interested in buying a copy of Tea And Chemo, that's ok, I need never know… but you could still give your pennies to one of these three charities and then you wouldn't feel half as bad :)

Meanwhile, I'm off to celebrate because it's New Year's Eve and the new year coming, the adventures we don't yet know, now that's something I really love to celebrate. Have a wonderful new year lovely readers, may 2016 be filled with life-affirming moments.

13 comments:

  1. A very happy new year to you too Jackie. So pleased that Tea and Chemo is out there and well on the road to success.

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    1. Thanks Carole and thanks for all your support over the past year. All the best to you for a wonderful 2016 and here's to this being the year your novel gets published :)

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  2. Hi Jackie. I am a bit over a year behind you and want to thank you for writing the book I needed in May 2015 and am still finding incredibly helpful (just passed the Swinstey Fewston bit - I know that walk well). I am being treated at SROM Harrogate, which is where I picked up 'Tea & Chemo'. In your blog today you mention an 'online group'. Is that something anyone can join and, if so, how do I find it? Thanks again for T&C. I hope 2016 continues better for you than 2014 and 15. Elizabeth

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    1. Hi Elizabeth, I am so sorry to hear your on the cancer treadmill and hope the treatments haven't treated you too badly. I am sure you're well looked after in Harrogate, the staff are absolute sweethearts aren't they! I'm so touched and happy that Tea & Chemo has been useful for you, it makes all the hard work worthwhile to hear that it has done what I hardly dared to hope it might do! The online group I spoke of is a private Facebook group for 'young women' diagnosed with breast cancer (under 45 on diagnosis). It has its sad moments but generally it's a bunch of women supporting each other and having a good laugh along the way :) If it's something which interests you, simply click the following link which will get you through to the public page and then you'll find another link where you can apply to join the private group.If you do decide it's for you, I look forward to seeing you over there :) Meanwhile, thanks for reading my blog and for taking the time to comment and all the very best to you x https://m.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork

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    2. Jackie, thank you for your response. In fact I don't fit the under 45 group - not by 15 years - but I appreciate the thought. Now I have found you, I will keep watching the blog and check back all the other entries (which I am guessing are not in the book). At the moment being able to follow your path, which is so similar to mine, feels really good. I have my last 3 radiotherapy sessions next week but Herceptin goes on until Sept 2016. At the moment it looks as if I am going to lose all my nails and have painful splits developing in the tips of my fingers. I'm not sure if that is a delayed chemo effect as the parts hit by that are now growing up or if it is the Herceptin, I am just about to do some research and try to find out. Regards, Elizabeth

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    3. Hi Elizabeth, I've posted in the Younger Breast Cancer Group to ask if anyone knows of any other good online groups and will post here if I hear of any - I'm sure I will! Great to hear you only have three radiotherapy sessions left and I hope the Herceptin won't be too much of a bind. Are you having it at home? You'll be amazed how quickly the twelve months are up! Yes, I'm afraid the nails are a chemo side effect and mine didn't really start splitting until after the end of chemo, either. I do remember those sores on the ends of the fingers because there's no nail to protect the finger ends - I never realised quite how important our nails were until the top half of them all broke off! I don't know if Herceptin also plays a part but I haven't heard that it does. Mind you, I thought I was going to have watery eyes for ever as I had them for months after the end of chemo. I thought chemo had sort of kick started the process and my brain couldn't work out how to stop it. Then my oncologist told me that Herceptin also had that effect and sure enough, they are much better now after finishing Herceptin last May. So if you're suffering with that, too, please don't despair if it feels like they're never going to stop streaming!
      Thanks for your kind words about Tea & Chemo and my blog. It's so lovely to hear of happy readers. Most of the cancer related posts are published in the book, with extra material added, but I hope you'll enjoy the other posts as well. All the best to you, Elizabeth, hope you enjoy saying good bye to that radiotherapy machine in a few days time!

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    4. Hi Elizabeth, I'm back! Lots of groups have been recommended but the ones that most people have mentioned are these: Breast Friends: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BreastFriendsBreastCancerSupport/?fref=ts and Breast Cancer Buddies: https://www.facebook.com/groups/321277584553714/?fref=ts Both are Facebook groups. Hope that helps :) J x

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  3. Thanks Jackie for your post christmas blog! Yep wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2016! Good luck to Elizabeth as well on her road to recovery! Lots of love from one of your blog and Book fans!

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    1. Thanks so much, Antonia! So lovely of you to comment :)

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  4. As usual another life affirming blog from you. I love the term cancerversary, don't know if it is a Jackie Buxton original or simply borrowed but either way it gives a positive message and makes me smile. How lovely to hear how the blog/book and the ongoing support has helped Elizabeth, there must be many more that you haven't heard about yet as the blog and book ripples wider and wider. Good luck to all.

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  5. Thanks for your lovely comment, Lyn. I've been quite overwhelmed by the messages and reviews saying how useful the book has been, which was the main aim (and hopefully entertain a little, too...!)

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  6. I've just sat and read through Tea and Chemo all in one sitting and thoroughly enjoyed it! Thank you for writing it. I've got 3 more radiotherapy sessions and was just today beginning to feel a bit sorry for myself, suffering from a bad cold in addition to fatigue from the treatment, so reading your book was exactly the boost that I needed. Although I haven't had to go through chemo one of my good friends (diagnosed 3 weeks before me) is going through it, so it was good to hear your insightful account of your experiences. I hope you're feeling well and best wishes for the publication of your new book!
    Linda

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    1. Hi Linda, firstly, apologies, I've only just seen your comment - so rude, I'm sorry! Secondly, I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear when people enjoy and get something from Tea & Chemo. Thanks so much for taking the time to post and I hope your last radiotherapy sessions passed without incidence. It's so good when you no longer have to travel to and from the hospital for those daily appointments, isn't it! Thank you, I'm doing really well, and I hope you and your friend are, too. And finally, thanks for the good wishes for Glass Houses - nearly there, the first proof copies will be with me in less than a month :) All the best x

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